Tag Archives: Nonviolent Communication

Let me be me: Peace Song for 1/20/2012

“Don’t try to plan me or understand me…I can’t stand to be understood…”

“Let Me Be” by The Turtles is the Peace Song of the Day for January 20th.

Duchess Susanna chose this song because it expresses some of the principles of Nonviolent Communication/NVC. Also, because it is a kind of freedom song, and freedom of thought song, like “Die Gedanken Sind Frei (“I Think As I Please)”.


[This Peace Song of the Day was actually first announced/posted on 1/29/2012 as part of a marathon catch-up session.]

Heart of snow: Peace Song for 12/16

Snowman by The Nields is the Peace Song of the Day for December 16th. You can find this song on their album “Live From Northampton”.

This song contributes to personal peace, by allowing one to alleviate angst. The song is from the point-of-view of a proud, aching snowman who asserts that he is cold and does not need anyone. It is a wonderful metaphor for the need to feel and express emotions, as taught by Nonviolent Communication.

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Pumpkin Pie: Peace Song for Thanksgiving Day, Nov 24, 2011

The Christians and the Pagans” by Dar Williams is the Peace Song of the Day for Thanksgiving, November 24th. (Don’t worry! It’s a funny song. And, the Christians and Pagans get along, eventually…)

More about why this is a peace song: Continue reading

Wishing for warmth: Peace Song for 10/23/2011

“Wouldn’t It Be Loverly” is the Peace Song of the Day for 10/23/2011. This song is from the movie and musical “My Fair Lady”. That show was based on the play Pygmalian, by George Bernard Shaw, which has some interesting observations on class and privilege.

You can fine the words to “Wouldn’t It Be Loverly” in the Rise Up Singing songbook on page 113.

More about the choice of this song as a peace song… Continue reading

Feelings and Friendship: Peace Song of the Day for 10/12

“How To Save A Life” by Fray is the Royal Peace Song of the Day. The song is beautiful and soulful. The video is full of images of real people showing the full range of emotions from fear, sadness, and grief to happiness, joy, and release.

Why is this a peace song? Being in tune with your own feelings, and understanding how important feelings are to yourself and others, is an important key to Nonviolent Communication.

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No arguing: Peace Song of the Day 9/17/2011

(This is a catch-up post. It is being written on Sunday morning, to announce Saturday’s song…)

Sometimes, peace starts with reflecting on our own shortcomings, and acknowledging them to ourselves. I have found that this process can be aided with music and art that portrays the part of us we want to improve. It is a way to study ourselves, and, hopefully, to laugh at our shortcomings.

“We Can Work It Out” is/was the Royal Peace Song of the Day for Saturday, September 17, 2011. The song was written by John Lennon and Paul McCartney. You can find the lyrics, and sing this favorite Beatles song with friends, by going to page 105 in the Rise Up Singing songbook.

More about this song and NVC/Nonviolent Communication… Continue reading

Royal Book of the Week: Monday 7/25/11

More info about this book at powells.com (new window)Book of the WeekNonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg.  Duchess Susanna  and I have worked hard to improve our communication skills.  All of us are taught in school how to speak a language, but not how to communicate.  Our society often teaches that communication is not as important as power.  We are taught that the most important thing is make sure you are not the loser.  Nonviolent communication (NVC) provides tools to seek a win-win situation.

The ability to communicate better is important in relationships, whether they be personal or political.  Too often we waste a great deal of time talking around what we need because we can’t figure out how to get to what what both really need.  Even worse, we are most frustrated when we know we are reacting negatively to someone else’s emotional outburst, even though the voice in the back of our head wants to head us in a positive direction.  Too many times we find that both parties walk away unhappy, and neither feel they have communicated what they want to say. Nonviolent communication teaches skills to help us work together to get what everyone needs..

I want to share my view of some of the skills I have gained from NVC training. First is active listening.  That means stepping back from our emotional entanglement, and even our own need to feel we are solving someone else’s problem.  Active listening means we are trying hard to understand what the other person is saying. We have to dig down to get at their concerns, without judgment.  This allows us to understanding what their emotional state is, and what caused it.  This often requires repeating back what they said in our own language to check with them if we are understanding correctly. Continue reading